A young woman has told of her relief that she doesn’t have to invite her abuser to her wedding after he was jailed for a series of attacks on her when she was a child.
The woman, who is now in her 30s, gave a heart-wrenching account of her life since being abused on a number of occasions by her uncle in the 1990s.
She told a court how she had to endure decades of family functions alongside the man while living with a secret.
The girl was just five years old when she was abused by the man in a caravan in Co Donegal.
The man is already serving a seven year sentence for three cases of indecent assault against the girl at a location in Northern Ireland.
The man appeared by video link at Donegal Circuit Court from his prison in the North where he pleaded guilty to a single charge of indecent assault.
His arrest came after he walked into a police station in Northern Ireland and told of his abuse against the then little girl.
Detective Garda Joe English said the woman told how she remembered being abused by the man in a caravan in Donegal when she was aged 4 or 5.
The man was interviewed by Gardai on May 27th, 2020 when a number of questions were put to him but he did not make any comment until the end of the interview.
At this point he opened up and said “I’m very sorry and I take full responsibility.”
The accused said he had been “looking over my shoulder for the past 28 years” and that nobody knew how sorry he was for causing the pain he did.
He appeared in the local district court on May 17th, 2021 on a sign plea to the single charge of indecent assault.
The accused, who is in his 60s, had no previous convictions of any kind before the charges for these offences.
In the woman’s victim impact statement she wrote how she had to look her abuser in the face at every family event and how he ensured he was standing beside her so others could see him talking to her.
She said that for so many years she was denied the truth believing her family had known what had happened to her when she was a child.
She believed the man robbed her of her childhood saying she stayed indoors and played computer games.
After going to college and beginning to move forward, the woman said she was still haunted by her abuser and would often wonder if he treated other young family members as he had her.
For 20 years she had to read his name on birthday cards sent to her.
She recalled being at family functions and “not being able to take my eyes off him” for fear he was doing the same to other children.
Despite suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and getting counselling, the woman said she refused to take medication as she felt it would affect her work.
The woman said she will hand her torment over to somebody else.
“I survived – now the truth is out you have God to face. I wouldn’t want another person suffering like I did.
“It is now in the hands of the court and God now. I can say I forgive you but I can never forgive the torment you did to me and my family. I’ll put this into a box again and hand it over to God.” The accused man was given the chance to apologise to his victim by videolink.
He said “I am so sorry and if I had known they wanted me to come forward I would have done so by now. I’m sorry and heartfully sorry for the pain and anguish that I put you and your mammy and family through. I hope in time you can forgive me.”
There were loud sobs from the victim and her family as the man apologised.
Barrister for the accused, Mr Colm Smyth SC, said his client had shown full remorse, had accepted full responsibility and that there had been a “blanket admission” to his offence.
He also suggested to the court that there may be some issues with the accused man’s “license” once he is released from prison in Northern Ireland which will have to be examined.
Barrister for the State, Mr Donal Keane, said that although the man had been jailed for seven years in Northern Ireland for three similar offences against his victim, he would be entitled to up to 50% remission meaning he could be released this time next year.
Judge John Aylmer said that it was an “unusual situation” in that he had no way to give the accused credit for the time he served in prison in Northern Ireland.
He said there will have to be “a handover” when the accused is released from prison in Northern Ireland so he can serve time for the sentence committed in Donegal.
He said he had a sentence of two years in mind as a starting point of two years but because of his remorse, his full admissions and the fact that he handed himself in on the charges, he proposed reducing that sentence to one of sixteen months.
He said he wanted to give the man’s counsel time to investigate the issues surrounding the man’s license once released from prison in Northern Ireland and reserved the right to review everything he has said.
“That’s all subject to review on what the position is in Northern Ireland,” added Judge Aylmer saying the case would have to be adjourned until January 23rd next when he will then make his final order.
Victim relieved she doesn’t have to invite her abuser to her wedding was last modified: December 22nd, 2023 by